


Let me show you what love is

by Loxzie



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Caring Magnus Bane, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Isabelle Lightwood, Protective Magnus Bane, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-05-30 06:17:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15090806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loxzie/pseuds/Loxzie
Summary: Alec and Sebastian are in a toxic relationship filled with abuse and tears. There's also a child in the middle of all this, wishing for a better home. Will Alec learn to love himself again when Magnus, Izzy and Jace save him?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There seems to be some confusion with this story, and I have no idea why. if someone could explain in the comments, that would be helpful.   
> But Sebastian and Alec were never married. only engaged. the ring is the engagement ring, beacuse of the diamond it would hurt. i dont know where the confusion comes from?   
> (Also, i got confused at first between Raphael, Magnus' friend, and Rafael, his son. i'm slow and this was one of my first fics so i'm sorry for the mistakes)

“Ow, Sebastian stop! Please!” Alec shouted, trying to pry Sebastian’s hand of his hair. This kind of pleading had become routine for Alec. He would come home from work, pick up Max from school and go home to an abusive fiancée. He would kick him, punch him, on the odd occasion bite him and every time, without fail, whenever Alec pleaded, he would threaten to hurt Max instead.

Alec had met Sebastian at a bar when he was 21. They went on a few dates and fell in love. Alec proposed when he was 24 and they were happy and in love. They adopted Max when he was 25 and never looked back. They were so happy when they brought him home, but it only brought out a violent side to Sebastian. Now Alec was 30, Max was in school and Sebastian was hitting Alec left, right and centre, making Alec wish he hadn’t proposed otherwise the ring wouldn’t pierce his skin every time he punched him. Sebastian refused to work, said he was too good to work, so Alec would have to work every day. From 5am to 3pm, he would work, then pick up Max and tend to his son. When Max slept, Sebastian would find something to bed mad about and hit Alec for it. When Max was having a sleep over with ‘tia Izzy’ or his friend Rafael from school, Sebastian would force himself on Alec. Most nights, regardless whether Max was there or not, he would force Alec to use his mouth, so he wouldn’t wake up Max. But when Max wasn’t there, he would go to town, really enjoy himself. Give himself the right to every little intimate bit of Alec’s body. But it was the mornings that made Alec stay. He never left him because in the mornings he would be so apologetic and sorry and _loving._ Something Alec _craved!_ He would wake him up with soft kisses to his cheek and lips, tell him he loved him, that he would never do it again and that he was sorry. But by the time it was lunch, he would be mad about something already.

“You took longer than normal picking him up. What the fuck were you doing then Alec?!” Sebastian said, yanking his hair even harder.

“I was only talking to Rafael’s dad. He wants to arrange another sleepover. That’s all!” Alec said through gritted teeth, straining to untangle Sebastian’s hand in his hair.

“You mean you were whoring yourself out?! Huh? You want to fuck his dad huh?! Am I not enough for you? Not big enough?! Let me show you how big I am and then you decide whether you’ll come home late to me again!” Sebastian growled, before unzipping his trousers.

 

Alec cried himself to sleep, as he did most nights. His dreams filled with horror and torture. He knew it was wrong. The whole relationship. But he couldn’t find it in his heart to leave him. He was so sincere and loving in the mornings, it almost made it all worth it. Key word being _almost._

 

Alec woke up to soft, gentle kisses dotted on his cheeks and forehead. He was met with a smiley Sebastian, gently stroking the hand that was intertwined with his. He didn’t even notice they were holding hands. “Morning baby.” Sebastian said in a light, soft tone.

“Morning. It’s Saturday. I don’t have to be at work until lunchtime.” Alec reminded them both, softly kissing him on the lips. He made the most of his loving mornings, considering one morning they could all be taken away from him.

“You’re right. You want to stay in bed all morning?” He asked, removing his hand from Alec’s and gently caressing his cheek.

“We can’t. I wish we could, but Max needs dropping off at Rafael’s in a couple of hours. Actually, what time is it?” Alec said, trying to look over Sebastian’s body to look at the clock on the table. “9? Why did you let me sleep until 9?” Alec asked, tone laced with amusement and love. He moved and sat with his legs hanging over the bed. He felt the bed dip and turned. Sebastian was on his knees behind Alec, his arms snaked around his hips and chin resting on his shoulder.

“You’re cute when you sleep.” Sebastian said, as if it wasn’t the cutest thing ever. He kissed his shoulder and made a path of kisses to his cheek.

“Sebastian, as much as I would _love_ to do this now, Max needs dropping off in like half an hour.” Alec said, his hands resting on Sebastian’s, still round his waist. Sebastian groaned in fake annoyance, or was it real? They were so similar it was hard for Alec to tell the difference. He let go and rolled back over on to the bed. Alec had an internal debate. Should he stay away as long as he can, so he doesn’t have to come home to a punch? Or come back as soon as possible, so he didn’t make him madder? He leaned down and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek before throwing on some clothes and going into the living room.

 

When he emerged from his room, he saw Max sitting on the couch, eating toast.

“Maxie, you can’t eat on the couch. Sebastian will get mad at the crumbs.” Alec said, trying to hide the fact that he was terrified of what he would actually do. He had hit Max before, not hard. And when he did, Alec stabbed his hand with a fork. After that, Sebastian seemed to get the message and only hit Alec.

“Sorry Daddy.” Max said, jumping up. He was just as terrified of Sebastian as Alec was. He didn’t know if it made it better or worse.

“How did you even make that?” Alec asked, taking the plate from Max and picking him up in his arms.

“He has legs! He can walk!” Sebastian shouted from his room, almost like his Spidey senses told him Alec picked Max up. They both flinched at his voice and Alec almost dropped his son. They both froze for at least half a minute, just staring at the door, waiting to see if it would end there or if Sebastian would come out. When they saw he didn’t, they both visibly relaxed and sighed.

“Go grab your bag. We’ll leave in a minute, ok?” Alec said, running his hand through his son’s hair.

“Thank you daddy.” Max said. Most parents would think he is saying thank you for taking him. Or reminding him to take his bag. Or styling his hair. But no. it was a ‘thank you for getting me out of the house’. Max hated being home but was afraid of asking Sebastian himself to have a sleepover somewhere else. Alec always did it for him. But with Max gone, it meant hell for Alec. Max would come home to new bruises on Alec’s body and he knew it was because he was alone here, but he didn’t want to stay here either. It was horrible for them both. Both carrying guilt along with a protective streak for each other. And Max was only 5. He shouldn’t be seeing this stuff!

 

The drive to Rafael’s house wasn’t very long. 26 and a half minutes, according to Sebastian’s timer. Yes, he timed them. If Alec was even a minute over 55 minutes, he would get a slap for each second he was over. 26 and a half minutes for on the way there, 2 minutes for dropping him off and saying bye and 26 and a half minutes to get back.

He knocked on the door and Rafael’s dad answered the door.

“Alexander. Max, he’s in the living room.” He said, leaning down and giving Max a nice smile before taking his bag. He looked back at Alec and looked at his neck. “Again?”

“Magnus, please don’t do this again.” Alec pleaded, not wanting to go into their conversation again.

This conversation happened a while ago. Max went round there and told Rafael what happened that day, when Sebastian hit him. Rafael told his father immediately, which was good of him. Magnus stopped Alec and invited him in. Alec took of his jacket, forgetting his arms would be covered with bruises. He and Magnus talked about it for about an hour, Alec cried a lot of the time. Magnus was nothing but supportive. Alec, in a moment of weakness and caught up in the care and concern of Magnus, leaned in and kissed him. Magnus pushed him back and told him maybe it wasn’t a good idea to cheat on someone who treated him like that. Alec couldn’t have run out of the house faster, leaving Max behind. Magnus was shocked to see Sebastian picking up Max, claiming Alec was busy with work. Magnus knew Alec was too beaten and bruised to leave the house after being over an hour late home. He didn’t try to keep Alec late again, scared for his health. Magnus had half expected the beating to stop. So did Alec for the first few weeks, but the expectations turned into pointless hope of something or someone to save him, which is something that only happens in fairy tales, and Alec’s life was no fairy tale.

“Alec, this isn’t love. This isn’t how you treat someone you love.” Magnus said, carefully caressing the bruises on his neck.

“They’re hickeys Magnus.” Alec said, removing his hand.

“Really? Hickeys that are bigger than any mouth I’ve ever seen, and that bleed?” Magnus asked, showing him the faint blood marks on his thumb.

“If he didn’t love me, why does he tell me every morning?” Alec said. _Sebastian loved him. Yeah, of course he does. He just feels insecure when Alec doesn’t come home, and he gets upset and angry and doesn’t mean to take it out on Alec. If he didn’t love him, he wouldn’t worry so much._

“Alec-”

“No, I’ll be back later to pick up Max.” Alec said, seconds before he bolted out of the house and into the car outside, pulling away within seconds.

Whilst he was driving, he was thinking back over what Magnus said. _Sebastian did love him. He told him every morning. He did love him. He just, puts him in his place when he’s wrong. That’s all. He loses control. We all lose control sometimes. Sebastian does love him. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does._

When Alec walked through the door, the house was trashed, in every sense of the word. The tv was smashed. The couch was ripped apart as if an out of control dog was on there. The carpet had been cut with a knife. Kitchen table was in half, both halves different sides of the room. Alec noticed out the corner of his eye that the bedroom door was slightly open. He was petrified. _Was this Sebastian? Was this a burglar? Should he go in there?_

Alec ignored the voice in his head who was screaming at him to take the car and run, to not go in the room. But he didn’t listen. He gently opened the door to see Sebastian sat on the bed, staring right at him. Alec had never seen anger like that in all his life. His eyes were almost red.

“Strip.” Was all Sebastian said, eyes not leaving Alec’s. _Here was his chance. Sebastian loved him. If Alec didn’t want it, he wouldn’t force him. Right?_

“No Sebastian. I don’t want to.” Alec said, trying his hardest to sound stern and final, but he sounded like a child not wanting to sit in the naughty corner.

“Did I fucking stutter? Strip.” He said, voice sounding dominating and overpowering.

“Sebastian please.” Alec tried pleading. But he stopped all movement of his mouth when Sebastian stood up and walked over to him.

Sebastian stood so close to his face that he could feel his breath on him. “Strip.” He said, before grabbing his hair and throwing him on the bed.

“Sebastian! No!” Alec yelled, trying to keep his shirt on. Sebastian just smacked his hands away and ripped his shirt in half and threw it on the floor. He pulled down Alec’s trousers along with his boxers, exposing him completely. When Alec was younger, he was taught that sex was for people who loved each other and that it was supposed to be enjoyable for everyone involved. This wasn’t enjoyable. This wasn’t sex. This wasn’t right. He didn’t want it.

Sebastian held his arms above his head with one hand whilst his hand travelled to Alec’s member, to make him hard, since the fear of the situation and the fact he didn’t want it prevented him from getting hard. But Sebastian was used to that. His hand expertly moved, making him harden without wanting to.

Sebastian jerked away from him when they both heard the door smash open. And there stood Magnus, Jace and Izzy. In all their glory. Magnus had a baseball bat, Jace had a lead pipe and Izzy had a wrench.

“Back. The. Fuck. Up. Now.” Izzy said, sounding scary as fuck. Alec was so happy he wasn’t on the receiving end of it.

The next part was all a blur. He heard screams from Sebastian and felt a blanket be put around him and being picked up. He heard sirens and woke up in a room with bright white lights.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, at no point throughout is Magnus actually angry at Alec. it's anger at Sebastian, not Alec. I hope it isn't confusing. and don't worry, Jace isn't a dick the whole time. Enjoy! Comment and let me know what you think

Alec took a few seconds to focus with the bright lights all around him. When he could finally make out that he was in a hospital, he looked to the side to see Izzy sat next to him, looking at him worriedly. Behind her was Jace pacing, almost tearing his hair out. He looked to the other side and saw Magnus.

“What the hell happened?” Alec asked, looking back to Izzy.

“Your idiotic siblings didn’t realise you weren’t happy with him.” Izzy said through tears.

“Why is he pacing?” Alec whispered to Izzy, gesturing to Jace.

“He’s worried because he accidentally hit you and knocked you out.” Izzy whispered, kissing Alec’s forehead. She felt so bad. How could she not notice he was beating him?

Alec smiled, but it soon left his face when he noticed something was wrong. Very wrong. “Where the fuck is Max?!” He yelled, sitting up as fast as he could. No way did they give him to Sebastian. He would take Max from Sebastian’s cold dead hands if he had to. He is not giving up his son, not for anybody!

“Alexander, it’s ok. Calm down. He’s with Rafael at school. They’re both staying in the classroom at the end of school and only me or you are allowed to pick them up. I phoned the school. They’ll be waiting with a teacher.” Magnus said gently, trying to reassure him.

“What?! How long was I asleep?!” Alec yelled.

“It’s Tuesday.” Magnus said gently, trying to not provoke him. He knew Alec was going to need a lot of TLC and patience. Izzy, Jace and Magnus had already agreed that he shouldn’t go back to that house. Izzy and Jace had very demanding jobs and couldn’t be there to look after him all the time so Magnus offered to have Alec stay with him. Izzy was weary at first, wondering if Alec knew Magnus enough to be comfortable staying with him. Then Magnus reminded them that he told them about Sebastian and that he promised he would take care of him, he also offered them to come around the house whenever they wanted to if they wanted to check up on him.

“How hard did Jace hit me?” Alec asked, trying to keep his voice down to not anger Jace too much.

“Hey Alexander, it’s ok. No more hushed tone, alright? Nothing is going to happen to you.” Magnus said, looking down at Alec’s hand. He didn’t want to reach out and touch him in case he wasn’t comfortable with it. “The doctor said that you were lacking proper care. Your body needed to rest. Don’t worry, we’re all here for you.”

“In fact, why are you here? You aren’t his family? You’re barely a friend! You knew the whole time and didn’t say anything!” Jace said, anger at himself built up for days and now it was being released on Magnus.

“JACE!” Izzy yelled. “Without him, we wouldn’t have known about any of this! Don’t you think it’s bad enough he didn’t trust his siblings with this?! I’m just glad he had someone he could tell! So, either sit down and shut up or get out!” Izzy yelled, in a tone Alec was again grateful he wasn’t on the receiving end of.

“Jace, it’s alright. I want him here, I don’t mind.” Alec said, giving Magnus a small smile that only he could see before they were interrupted by a nurse walking through the door. She looked beautiful. Even though Alec was gay, he could still see that this woman was gorgeous. She had kind eyes and beautiful black hair.

“Ah Catarina. Good to see you.” Magnus said, before standing up and giving the nurse a hug, like they were old friends. “Catarina, this is Max’s dad, Alexander. Alec, this is Madzie’s mother.”

“Oh! Madzie Fell? She’s so cute and kind. Now I see where she gets her good looks from.” Alec said, smirking at the nurse. She just smirked back and chuckled.

“Thank you. Aren’t you sweet?” Catarina replied, before looking down at her clipboard. “You need to rest, maybe have Max stay with a friend. The police want to talk to you and take a statement and I will have a lawyer draw up divorce papers, assuming that’s what you want?” She asked, again with those kind eyes. She was thoughtful, he could tell. She had thought of everything for him, to make it less hassle. Surely, that wasn’t a nurse’s job. He didn’t have much chance to talk to any parents outside the school gate before dropping Max off. Maybe this was his chance to make new friends!

“Yes, thank you. Would you mind if I didn’t speak to the police just yet? I’m not quite comfortable with it all yet.” He asked, worried she would judge him, or Jace would protest.

“Whatever makes you comfortable dear.” She replied, before giving him a sweet smile, then looking back at Magnus with a knowing look before leaving.

“I’m happy for Max to come and stay with me Alexander, if you prefer to be with him.” Magnus suggested.

“Pretty sure my brother can speak for himself.” Jace snapped, causing Alec to almost hurt his neck by whipping his head so fast.

“Jace…” Izzy tried.

“In fact, what are you even doing here?” Jace continued.

“Pardon?” Magnus raised an eyebrow amused.

“You heard. We don’t need scum like you around our brother.” Jace replied in a stern voice.

“Jace!” Izzy tried again. She wanted to stop this from getting too out of hand.

“Excuse me? Scum?” Magnus’ amused expression dropped within seconds. Who the FUCK did he think he was? Calling Magnus scum?!

“Yeah! Bi sexual men fucking around. You even have a child! I bet you aren’t even with the mother!” Jace yelled, gaining some attention from the people outside the room.

“JACE!” Izzy screamed, causing Jace to stop and look at her.

“The mother of my son, Rafael, is dead. She died in childbirth.” Was all Magnus replied with before leaving the room.

Alec looked at Jace, who just stared back. Alec looked angry. Angrier than Jace had ever seen him. Izzy didn’t know what to do. She wanted to kill Jace for what he said to Magnus, but a big fight won’t help Alec right now.

“Get out. Either apologise to him, and mean it! Or don’t bother coming back inside.” Alec said, before picking up a magazine Magnus got him and reading it, waiting for Jace to leave. Jace looked confused at Izzy who had the same expression as Alec. They were both mad.

“You really like this guy, don’t you?” Izzy asked after Jace hesitantly huffed out the room.

“It’s not like that Iz.” Alec replied, not looking up at her. Truth was, he did really like Magnus. He was funny, sarcastic in the best way, kind, a good father, sexy as fuck and the purest person Alec had ever met. Completely opposite to Sebastian. He needed someone like Magnus in his life and he was so thankful that he didn’t push Magnus away too hard. He looked up at Izzy who just gave him a knowing smirk.

 

After picking up the boys, Alec gave Max a big squeeze and cried. He told Max that Sebastian wasn’t part of their lives anymore and Max actually cried happy tears. Max and Raphael went to stay with Magnus’ friend Cat, from the hospital. Her husband Ragnor Fell was a nice man too. He was kind, like Cat. After meeting him, Alec felt more comfortable about leaving his son with him. Max didn’t seem to mind, he and Madzie were friends.

 

When Alec got back to Magnus’, he was kind of glad it was just the two of them. He wanted to talk to Magnus, thank him for how much he helped. He owed Magnus so much and he felt so strange. He didn’t think he deserved this kind of treatment. He wasn’t special, he didn’t deserve Magnus’ help.

Whilst Magnus was putting Alec’s overnight bag in the guest room, Alec made his way to the kitchen. He started to cook some bacon for bacon sandwiches. It wasn’t much, but it was all he was able to do without doubling over in pain. When they were done, he took them to the table and waited for Magnus.

“I unpacked for you, I hope you don’t- What’s all this?” Magnus asked smiling. No one had ever bothered to make food for him or done anything for him at all. Raphael’s mother wasn’t exactly a good person. But he didn’t hold grudges. They only hurt you.

“You’ve done so much for me. I wanted to do something for you. I’m sorry it isn’t much.” Alec said, looking down.

“Hey, it’s great. Thank you.” Magnus’ smile brightened up all of Alec’s life. Just a look at the smile, and it was almost like he was thankful for everything that ever happened to him. Because it lead him to here, with Magnus. Alec tended to fall too hard too fast, but he has had feelings for Magnus ever since Max’s first day at school. Now he didn’t have Sebastian, now he actually had a chance. If Magnus is actually into men, that is.

After they finished their dinner, they sat on the couch and watched some television until 9 when Alec yawned.

Magnus just chuckled. “It’s irritating isn’t it? They go to bed early, and so do you. But when it’s the weekend, you’re tired at like 8.” Magnus said amused. It was a common occurrence with parents. They went to bed early, so they woke up in time for school the next morning, but on the weekend they get tired easier.

“Yeah. Sorry.” Alec said, getting all sheepish.

“Don’t apologise for being tired Alexander. I can show you your room if you want to go to bed now?” Magnus said. It hurt him really deeply that Alec had just apologised. Magnus didn’t mind apologies, but Alec apologised for **being tired!** How is that bad? Did Sebastian make him apologise? Being tired is natural and it killed Magnus to know that Alec had genuinely apologised. It wasn’t sarcastic, or a joke. It was genuine. He couldn’t get over the fact he just said sorry for being tired.

“Yes please.” Alec replied, like a child. Did he have to apologise and ask for everything with Sebastian? He was a grown man! He had a child! He shouldn’t be reduced to this robot who asks for everything with please and thank you and **apologises** for being tired. Magnus was determined to make him change, help him realise that it’s ok.

When Magnus showed Alec to his room, he left to give him some privacy to get changed into his pyjamas.

“Where are you going?” Alec asked. Magnus walked back into the room to see Alec taking his shirt off. Magnus put his hand over his eyes, so he didn’t make Alec feel uncomfortable.

“What do you mean? I’m giving you privacy to change Alexander.” Magnus said softly.

Alec was stunned. Every time Alec got undressed, Sebastian would stand there and ogle. He would watch with hungry eyes and help himself to Alec’s body. It just became routine for Alec. He hated his body. Sebastian would criticise and make fun of his body. He was muscular because he would work out at home, again with Sebastian sat there watching him, with hungry eyes. Everything with Sebastian seemed to revolve around sex. That’s all Alec was really good for. “Why? What’s wrong with me?”

That one worded question broke Magnus. He wanted to cry. _Why? What do you mean why? It’s your body. I don’t have a right to just help myself to look at it. It’s not right. Is that how you were treated?!_  “Alexander, have you got a shirt on?”

Alec nodded and them remembered that Magnus was blinding himself. “Yes, I do.” He replied. Magnus removed his hand and sat Alec on the bed and sat beside him.

“Listen. You know the things Sebastian did were wrong, don’t you? Most things he said to you were wrong. And I don’t have any right to look or touch your body without your permission. It’s wrong. And there is nothing wrong with you. You’re extremely attractive but that isn’t the only reason I’m helping you, ok? My room is across the hall if you need me, alright? I don’t care if you wake me up at midnight for a drink. If you need me, promise you’ll come in?” Magnus said, taking Alec’s hands in his and squeezing them at every important word. He wanted Alec to feel safe. It pained him that the conversation was actually necessary in this case. It made him sick to his stomach. Alec surged forward and hugged Magnus tightly. Magnus wasn’t expecting that reaction but hugged him back quickly, so he wouldn’t think something was wrong and he apologised again.

When Alec finally got settled into bed and fell asleep, it was a peaceful dream for once. It was about him and Magnus and the boys, just chilling out. It wasn’t anything special, but Alec never had good dreams. But of course, he awoken by a thunder cloud. He was terrified of thunder. Another thing Sebastian made fun of. Alec shot up and looked around. He didn’t recognise the place. _Where was he?! Oh, he was at Magnus’. It’s alright._ He reluctantly got out of bed and walked out into the hall. _Magnus said he could go in if he needed him. **You don’t need him. You’re a grown man. Go to bed.** Magnus made him promise. He can’t break his promise. **No, don’t break your promise. You don’t know how angry it could make him.**_ After the voices in his head agreed, he walked into the room to see Magnus still awake, sat up and reading a book.

“Oh sorry.” Alec said, and turned to leave.

“Alexander don’t be ridiculous. Come in, what’s wrong?” **He apologised again. For fuck sake. He was going to kill Sebastian if he ever got the chance.** Alec walked over to his bed and sat down carefully, gently. He didn’t want to disturb his reading. He was about to speak when another thunder cloud erupted, and he jolted. Magnus looked at him with soft and understanding eyes. “Are you afraid of thunder?” It was a question. He wasn’t mean about it. He wasn’t making fun of him. He was simply asking. Alec nodded, and a tear escaped his eye. _Was he scared of telling Magnus? Was that something that dickhead made fun of him for?_  “Would you like to sleep with me tonight?” Magnus asked. He saw a brief expression of fear on Alec’s face and corrected himself. “I don’t mean sex, just sleeping, fully clothed, in my bed. If that would make you more comfortable.” Magnus said. He stopped rambling when he saw Alec understood.

“Please, if that’s alright. If not, I can go back to my bed.” He said, fiddling with his hands.

“Don’t be absurd. Of course, it’s alright. Come here.” He said, holding his arms out. Alec climbed into the bed and put his head on Magnus’ chest. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec in a protective manor. He turned off the light, put his book down and shuffled a little so he was lying down. “Sorry for interrupting your reading.” Alec said.

**That’s it. Tomorrow, it was Magnus’ goal to make Alec not apologise once. It wasn’t fair.**

Alec drifted away within minutes, even with the thunder. He knew he was safe with Magnus. And he would do whatever he had to do to keep Magnus around. He couldn’t lose him.


	3. Chapter 3

Alec woke up because the bed dipped behind him. he remembered waking up at some point in the night, only to turn and see Magnus laying there with his arms around him tightly. _Why was Magnus getting out of bed so early? It’s only 8. Oh no. He didn’t want Alec in his bed. He regretted it, didn’t he? He was hoping Alec would get the message and leave, wasn’t he?_  Alec shot up and ran out of the room, shutting the door on the way out. He heard Magnus say something, but he didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to hear Magnus say something harsh. Even though he deserved it. What a slut. Sleeping in another man’s bed. What was wrong with him. he should know better. Sebastian taught him better.

He was making coffee in the kitchen when Magnus walked in, yawning. Alec kept his back to him and continued to sip his drink. It wasn’t fair to Magnus. He probably didn’t even want Alec here. He was probably guilt tripped by Jace. Alec quickly let go of his coffee and shot up from where he was sat when he realised.

“Alexander, what’s wrong?”

“I- I didn’t ask for- coffee.” He said, hands laced together in front of him and head bowed. What a prick he was! He woke the man up late at night, climbed into his bed like a slut and now he was walking around, drinking his coffee without even asking. What if it was his favourite? And it was the last of it? What if it was really expensive? Or the only coffee Magnus liked. He was snapped out of his thoughts by Magnus getting a paper towel and wiping up some drops of coffee Alec spilt. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even realise. I’m sorry. I’ll pack my stuff and be out of your hair-”

“Alexander, stop! Look at me.” Alec lifted his head and looked up at Magnus. He didn’t _look_ angry. He must’ve been angry though. Alec was just helping himself to everything, including his bed. “I’m not mad. It’s just coffee. And if you don’t mind me asking, why did you run out of the bedroom this morning?” Magnus asked. He rolled out of the bed, so his _morning guy issue_ didn’t poke Alec in the back and make him feel uncomfortable. He knew he would have to be careful and patient and he was more than happy to. Alexander was such a sweet soul that was broken at the hands of that complete **bastard!** Sebastian never deserved to even say Alec’s name.

“Because I took the hint.” Alec said, sighing.

“What hint?” Magnus asked calmly and kindly. He didn’t want to push Alec if he was already misunderstanding things, he needed to be even more careful than he had planned to. Again, all worth it.

“You moved out of the bed, really early. So I took the hint that you didn’t want me there.” Alec said, picking up the coffee and pouring it down the drain.

“Alexander…” Magnus said, grabbing his hand softly and gently pulling him to the couch. He sat next to Alec but his whole body facing him. He kept hold of Alec’s hands, but not too tight. If he wanted to let go, Alec only had to gently pull his hands away and they would dislodge. Magnus didn’t know how much physical contact he would be comfortable with and he didn’t want to push it. It became clear last night that he was used to people just helping themselves to his body. “You misunderstood. This morning, I woke up with you in my arms, your back against my chest. My arms were around your body and your hands were holding onto mine around your stomach-”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise I was-”

“No Alexander, I’m not complaining. I’m explaining.” When Magnus saw that Alec wasn’t going to say anything, he continued. “I had morning wood. And because we were so close, it was digging into your back. No.” Magnus said, putting his finger against Alec’s lips when he tried to speak. And Magnus knew, _he just knew_ , Alec was about to apologise. “Again, not complaining. But I didn’t want you to think I was just trying to sleep with you. You understand? I was trying to make you comfortable.” Magnus said, gently caressing Alec’s hands.

A look of realisation spread across Alec’s face and he sighed relieved. But it quickly turned wide eyed as he realised his mistake. “I’m so sorry for thinking that. I should’ve have presumed. I’m sorry Magnus.” Alec said, trying to move away. Magnus gently leaned forward and hugged Alec, to show him that it’s alright.

“Alexander, about that. **You do not have to apologise for everything ok?** I am _never_ going to put my hands on you without permission, much less hit you for anything. You can help yourself to anything in this house, including my bedroom. Even if I’m asleep, you are welcome anywhere. You can have whatever coffee you want. I can even buy some for you. But don’t apologise for everything ok?” Magnus said gently. He didn’t want Alec to misread and think Magnus was sending him to the naughty corner to think about what he did.

“Sorry, I won’t anymore.” Alec said, trying to hide a small smirk.

Magnus huffed until he saw the smirk. “You have a sense of humour? Even more attractive.” Magnus said. It was one of his goals to make Alec believe he was attractive. He knew Sebastian would criticize his body constantly. Which wasn’t fair, because from what Magnus saw last night, he had a magnificent body. It was never right to make someone feel bad about themselves. Magnus knew karma would come for Sebastian and he just so wished his name was karma, so he could deliver personally.

Alec blushed at Magnus’ comment. He wasn’t used to having this much positive attention and he had only stayed one night. He felt safe and comfortable with Magnus. But he was terrified. Terrified of saying something to Magnus and he be disgusted. Every time Alec said he loved Sebastian, he would cringe or call him pathetic or just laugh. He only ever said the words ‘I love you’ to Alec a couple of times after the abuse started. And he remembered them very clearly.

 

_Alec had just put Max to sleep. It was relatively easy, since Max was scared of Sebastian, so he would go to bed early, to get away from him for a couple hours longer. Alec walked into his bedroom to see Sebastian laid in their bed, with only boxers on, sporting a hard on._

_“I want sex.” Sebastian said with a smirk._

_“Babe, I’m tired.” Alec said, knowing it would get him nowhere._

_“But I love you.”_

_“I love you too Seb.”_

_“So, does that mean I get sex now?” Sebastian asked._

_Alec sighed and nodded, already unbuttoning his shirt._

_Alec and Sebastian were having a heated argument, very heated. Alec had thrown the toaster at Sebastian, which he dodged by ducking. Sebastian how thrown a number of things at him, including a chair. He threw it with so much force that it smashed into pieces behind Alec. Sebastian went to a drawer in the kitchen and took out a butcher knife. He put it to Alec’s neck and smiled when he heard Alec whimper._

_“I won this argument. I want a reward.” He said, trying to act seductively. Alec nodded, a tear escaping his eye. “You’re lucky I love you. Otherwise I would’ve killed you. Now, what do you say?” Sebastian asked._

_“I’m sorry babe. I’m really sorry. I love you too, I’m sorry.” He chanted, like it was the only thing to save his life._

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Magnus looking at him expectantly. “Hm? Sorry, I drifted off.” Magnus gave him a blank look before Alec realised. “Sorry, I forgot. Sorry. Shit for fuck sake. I’m just going to stop talking now.” Alec said chuckling.

“It’s alright Alexander. I asked if you wanted to pick Max up from school today? If you aren’t ready, that’s fine. Cat and Ragnor are more than happy to help out.” Magnus said. Alec didn’t even realise that he was still caressing his hand gently.

“I wish I could kiss you.” Alec mumbled.

“Sorry, what was that?” Magnus asked.

“I said, yeah that would be great.” Alec said smoothly. He hadn’t meant to say it out loud. _You’re an idiot. You’re just going to weird him out. Just shut up! It’s easier to be his friend! He doesn’t like you like that. Why would he. I mean, look at you._ The voice was silenced when Magnus leaned forward and kissed Alec’s forehead, with force but delicately at the same time.

He put his lips next to Alec’s ear and whispered, “I know that’s probably not what you meant. But we’ll get there, one day at a time yeah?” Magnus said gently, so he didn’t break the moment. “I really like you, and I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t want to take advantage.” Magnus said, before putting his arm around Alec and turning on the tv. He passed the remote to Alec and chuckled at his confused expression. “Pick a film to watch Alexander.” He said amused.

Alec was so confused and embarrassed. He wasn’t allowed to watch films, or tv in general. He didn’t know what there was, and he didn’t want to pick something Magnus didn’t like. When Magnus kept looking at him, he began to look down at the remote. There were too many buttons. He didn’t know what to do. He could feel his chest tighten and his breath quicken.

Magnus heard Alec’s breathing get faster and could Alec was spacing out. Magnus didn’t know what to do. Was Alec having a panic attack? Why? _Because he was just in an abusive relation dipshit_ his conscious said. Oh shit, what was he going to do. “Alexander, it’s alright. Come here.” He said, hugging him tightly and gently rocking them forward and backward. He kept shushing Alec whilst rocking him. after a few minutes, he felt Alec hug him back and his breath began to go back to normal, slowly. “Are you alright?”

“Ye… yeah. I’m f-fine.” Alec said, wiping a tear. When did he start crying? Magnus must’ve thought he was so weak.

 

The spent the day watching film after film. Magnus claimed that Alec missed out greatly and showed him so many films.

_“Oh! I know! We’ll watch My Name Is Lenny!”_

_“What?”_

_“It’s great!”_

_“Oh OH! Legend! It’s about gangsters!!”_

_“Ok, but you’ve seen Shaun of the Dead, right?”_

_“What?”_

_“What?! Omg Alexander!”_

_“What? Explain it again.”_

_“Right. A guy’s son is kidnapped, and his mentally unstable friend helps him find his son. They nearly get killed a few times.”_

_“And this is a children’s film?”_

_“Alexander, Max loves it. It isn’t scary, I promise.”_

_“I don’t think you should baby sit my son ever again.” Alec said smirking._

_“Magnus?”_

_Magnus sat there with his head in his heads. “You haven’t seen any films, I get that. But how have you not at least HEARD of Men in Black?”_

_Alec just chuckled and watched the opening credits of the film._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I was having an internal debate about how this chapter should go. Happy Alec for most of it. I normally only do 2000 words ish, but this is 3000 ish to make up for the wait. let me know what you think!

Alec had spent yet another night in Magnus’ bed, not that either of them minded. Alec said he would be more comfortable sleeping with Magnus, to which he replied with _“Alexander, if it makes you comfortable, go ahead.”_  Magnus was so understanding. It made Alec feel so special.

He woke up with Magnus arms around him again, but his head was on his bare chest. He slightly moved his head to look at Magnus, who was still silently sleeping. And Alec couldn’t help but think. _He looks so beautiful when he is asleep. He’s gorgeous. I hope he knows it._

Magnus stirred awake and looked down, to see Alec quickly look away and blush. “Good morning Alexander.” Magnus said, gently raising his hand to stroke Alec’s hair.

“Morning. I um… I was… wondering…” Alec stuttered. He was scared. He wanted Max to come home. But he was scared Magnus would say no. What if he actually didn’t like Max and just pretended? What if he just wanted Alec? What if Max wasn’t welcome? What if-

“Alexander, darling, whatever it is, just ask.” Magnus said, watching as Alec blushed at the nickname.

“I was wondering if Max could come back. If not, that’s fine. I was just wondering. In fact, never mind, you’re probably busy. It’s fine. Don’t worry actually. Max can just-”

“Alexander, if you want Max to come home, he’s more than welcome. Same as you are. You never need to be scared to ask or tell me something, ok? Promise me that if you ever want or need something, you will tell me.” Magnus said, sitting up so he and Alec were face to face. Alec   swallowed and nodded. “Good. We can pick him up from school tonight and then, if you want, we could all take tomorrow off, since it’s a Friday. We could spend a day, just the four of us chilling out. How does that sound?” Magnus asked, gently rubbing circles on Alec’s arm.

“That would be great. Thanks.” Alec said, leaning up and pecking Magnus on the lips. He and Magnus both looked away from each other and froze. _Shit. Way to go Alec. You fucked it again. You went through hell, then this beautiful specimen of a man takes you into his home, **lets you into his bed** , and you do this. Well done Alec, well done. _

_Great Magnus. Just great. You just took advantage of the kindest person. He’s been through hell and the last thing he needs right now is your stupid infatuation making him uncomfortable._

“Alexander, I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You didn’t. I did.” Alec said honestly, before trying to move out of the bed. Magnus held him tighter. Magnus pulled him back and kissed him again. Alec didn’t push back, the opposite actually. Alec kisses him back with just as much passion as Magnus does. When they pull back, panting, Alec smiles. “That was amazing.” Alec panted out, smile still on his face. Alec felt a little embarrassed that he was getting hard and it was digging into Magnus’ leg. Magnus noticed his blush and stroked his cheek gently.

“Hey, it’s natural. I’m guessing Sebastian never touched you tenderly with love?” Magnus asked attentively. He had read that people who had been in violent relations reacted hyper sensitively to a gentle, loving touch. It was natural, and he would never judge Alec for it, ever.

“No, never. I’m sorry, it was just a kiss. I don’t understand.” Alec said, looking down. Alec felt so dirty. He was sleeping in the same bed as this beautiful man, kissed him without asking and then got a semi. It was dirty. It was wrong. He needed to make it up to Magnus immediately, before he threw him out. “I’m sorry. I understand if you want me to leave, but I’ll do anything.” Alec said, grabbing Magnus’ palm and putting it over his boxers, just above his dick. He let out a moan and moved him head next to Magnus’, gently biting his earlobe. “Anything.” He moaned out. Sebastian always gave him a good fuck and then they would be ok. This is what he needed to do to get Magnus to forgive him.

Magnus took his hand back and gently pushed Alec away. “Alexander, I’ve already told you. It’s natural. _And_ you don’t need to offer your body every time you think you mess up. We had this conversation, do you remember?” He asked carefully. Last time this happened, Alec freaked out about not being good enough and that there was something wrong with him and his body. Magnus’ heart broke for the hundredth time. Why did Alec feel the need to please Magnus so much? It wasn’t fair on him, bless him. He was so pure.

“I’m sorry. Yes, I remember.” Alec said, sitting up uncomfortable. _Well done. Good one. You ignored him. Well done, just well done. Why did you ignore him? For fuck sake, you ruined it! AGAIN!_ “Stop yelling!” Alec said, grabbing his head.

Magnus looked at him with a worried expression. “Alexander? No one is shouting. It’s alright.” He attempted to calm him by gently pulling his hands away from his head. Alec looked up at him with sad eyes, tears in the corners, threatening to spill over. Magnus gently leaned down and kissed Alec again, tentatively and carefully. When he pulled back, Alec was looking at him with love. “Breakfast?”

 

After breakfast, Alec and Magnus sat around, trading funny stories. Magnus would say anything to make Alexander smile that earth shattering smile. He laughed with tears. Magnus was happy that he _finally!_  got Alec to cry with laughter instead of sadness.

_“And so, after running from the cops, baring in mind we’re still naked from the skinny dipping, we realised that we had just broke into the house of Tom Hardy.” Magnus said, causing Alec to belt out with laughter._

_“And so Max was running around the store. Me, Izzy and Jace trying to catch him before he hurt anybody. We found him down the alcohol isle, sat in about 5 different wines from the bottles he had smashed. He wasn’t hurt but we couldn’t stop laughing. Whenever we saw him, we would say Rose and he would just blush furiously. And that’s how me and all my siblings got banned from a Waitrose on a family holiday in England.” Alec said, smiling fondly at his own memory._

_“So, when my phone finally connected to the 4G in the area, I looked up where we were on the map.” Magnus said, giggling too much._

_“Oh no, where were you?” Alec asked, amused._

_“Turns out, we had somehow slipped through the Mexican border. One hell of a tough conversation with the people as we were trying to leave.” Magnus said, bursting out with laughter, Alec joining him._

_“Izzy had told me it would fun. So, I thought, why not? We get there, and they asked for my ID at the gate. They looked at it and let me through. I thought it was odd but did nothing about it. When I got on the ride and sat down, they belted me up. Izzy leaned over and said, ‘You’re ok with actors touching you right?’ I freaked out. There were actors everywhere, trying to scare me. So naturally, I punched one of them coming for me. Now, they don’t let me in Thorpe Park in any countries.” Alec said, causing Magnus to giggle the entire time._

“Wait, hold on. You’re banned from Peru?” Alec asked, taking a sit from his orange juice. They had spent around 3 hours talking and trading stories.

“A little bit.” Magnus said, before taking a sip of his drink.

“The fuck do you mean a little bit? How do you get a little bit banned from a country?” Alec asked amused, making Magnus laugh into his drink, causing the liquid to go everywhere, which just made the boys laugh even more.

“As long as I don’t go with Catarina, Ragnor and Raphael again, I’m fine.” Magnus said, laughing.

“Raphael? As in, your 5 year old son?” Alec asked in disbelief.

“No.” Magnus said, swallowing his drink. “Raphael was my best friend, I practically raised him, even though we’re the same age. I found him on the street as a child, my parents took him in and we all raised him. It was hard, he was troubled. But we made it. He is a wonderful human being and when my son was born, I named him after Raphael. Different spelling, but if my boy turns out half as good as my brother, I’ll die a happy man.” Magnus said honestly, looking over at a picture on the fireplace. Alec followed his eyesight and locked his eyes on the picture. He walked over to it and brought it back to the couch where they were sat.

“Who is who?” Alec asked, gesturing to the picture.

“That’s me, obviously.” Magnus said.

“Why you dressed as a zebra?”

“Don’t worry about that.” Magnus asked amused, causing a smile to appear on Alec’s face. “That’s a story for another time.”

“Who is the lion?”

“That is Ragnor, my childhood best friend. The man you met who is looking after Max.” Magnus said, smiling fondly.

“And the lizard?” Alec asked, giggling a little bit more.

“Raphael. That was not his first choice, I tell you. It was a pain in the arse to get him to put that on.” Magnus said, chuckling.

“And the mermaid. I feel like I know her from somewhere.” Alec said, tilting his head to the side.

“Darling, that’s the doctor. Ragnor’s wife.”

“Omg, she’s beautiful.” Alec said, before going quiet and swallowing. “In a ‘I’m gay, most woman repulse me’ kind of way. I thought she was beautiful at the hospital. Ragnor and Catarina must have a cut love story.” Alec said, wishing he had a cute love story. His only love stories were losing his virginity to a woman and vomiting after, an abusive husband. That’s it. That’s his love life, summed up in 12 words.

“Yeah she is.” Magnus said, sighing. He put the picture back and turned to Alec. “So, I couldn’t help but notice that Max is also your brother’s name.” Magnus said, trying to leave the conversation open for Alec to finish. He didn’t want to push too far.

“Yeah. Max, my brother, was a great guy. He was so supportive. First person I came out to. It was great. The conversation was literally ‘Max, I’m gay.’ ‘That’s nice. Look at this!’ Then he showed me his comic book collection, like it didn’t matter to him. He was so inspirational.” Alec said.

“Was?” Magnus asked carefully.

“Yeah. He died when I was 24. He had a heart condition. When he died, I had a breakdown in the hospital. Screaming about him needing his glasses to read batman in heaven. My parents pretty much disowned me for not being up to their standards. Izzy and Jace threw themselves into work, and never came out again. I barely see them anymore.” Alec said, wiping a tear.

Magnus felt awful. He didn’t want this conversation to go this way, but if Alec needed to talk, he would be there for him. There was no question about that. Magnus pulled Alec into a hug and gently stroked the hair at the back of his head.

 

When it was time to pick Max up from school, Magnus had never seen Alec so excited. He was bouncing off the walls, singing random songs. For literally no reason.

“The ace of spades! The ace of spades!” Alec sang/yelled, playing the air guitar and drums at the same time. Alec couldn’t help but smile at him. Was this the real Alec? Was this what Alec was actually like? Magnus loved it! He was so carefree. Singing and dancing like it was nobody’s business, not caring if Magnus was judging him. He ran from one side of the room to the other, shouting and singing at the same time. “The only thing you see! You know it’s gonna be, THE ACE OF SPADES! THE ACE OF SPADES!” Still playing the air guitar and drums. He pretended to slam the symbols and looked up to the ceiling. His arms were frozen out and he looked at Magnus and bowed. “Thank you ladies and gentlemen. I’m here all week!” Alec yelled to Magnus, who was stood by the front door watching the grown man run around singing Motorhead. Magnus bolted with laughter as Alec ran over to him and straightened his clothing. He mocked being sophisticated and said, “Ok, I’m ready. Let’s go.” Before joining Magnus in his laughing spree.

 

Magnus had stupidly told Alec he could play whatever he wanted on the radio and regretted it instantly, when ZZ Top came on his radio. Alec was murdering the words to ‘Sharp dressed man’ until they pulled up to the school. Magnus just laughed fondly. They stood amongst the parents when the kids came out of the school. Max looked around confused, until Alec yelled “IS THIS THE REAL LIFE?!” To which Max looked up and yelled, “IS THIS JUST FANTASY?!” And ran to where the noise was coming from. He jumped into Alec’s arms and Magnus chuckled. “Caught in a landslide.”

“No escape from reality.” Max continued.

“Open your eyes.” Alec said, bopping Max on the nose.

“Look up to the skies and seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.” Max yelled. When he finished, he and Alec shared a private smile and hugged each other tighter.

Magnus just watched in awe at the two. They had been through so much and they still found time to joke and sing. Rafael ran to Magnus within seconds of coming out of the school and they all got in the car. Magnus forgot to unplug the aux cable and regretted it fondly, when suddenly the speakers blared with Ballroom Blitz by Sweet. Max and Alec murdered the words by shouting along to the song. Every few words, Magnus noticed out the corner of his eyes that Alec kept glancing at him with a smile on his face.

“I’m reaching out for something, touching nothing is all I ever do.” Alec yelled, doing a shimmy.

“Oh, I softly call you over. When you appear there’s nothing of you, aha!” Max yelled from the back, earning a chuckle from his daddy.

“Now the man at the back is ready to crack as he raises his hands to the sky.” Yelled Alec, who froze when he heard Magnus join in. He thought he faintly heard Rafael joining in too.

“And the girl in the corner, is everyone mourner. She could kill you with a wink of her eye.” Magnus continued, winking at Alec. They all continued shouting the song until they pulled up outside the house.

 

When Alec and Max stumbled through, they were busy trying to sing ‘Cool for Cats’ by Squeeze. They stumbled over the shoes at the door, but Alec didn’t seem even a little bit bothered.

“And David Crocket rides around and says it’s cool for cats!” Alec said.

“Coooooool forrrr caaaaaaats.” Max harmonised, earning a thunder of laughter from Magnus and Rafael. Magnus and Rafael fell on the sofa and watched, laughing as Max ran around, singing the harmony whilst Alec was playing the drums and the piano for the instrumental bit.

“Shape up at the disco and I think I’ve got a pull…” Alec continued, mockingly dancing around. When the song finally ended, Alec slumped on the couch next to Magnus and put his arm around him.

“So, you sing and dance then?” Magnus asked, giggling slightly as he kissed Alec on the cheek.

“I know. You’re a lucky guy.” Alec chuckled, before realising what he said. He and Magnus weren’t together. They had kissed yes. But that didn’t mean they were together. Magnus felt Alec tense up and snuggled into him more to reassure him. “You’re right, I am.” He said, before placing a delicate kiss on Alec’s chest over his shirt.

 

The spent the rest of the day singing and dancing or watching films. They were acting like a proper little family and Magnus knew he and Alec would need to talk about this whole thing, but right now Magnus couldn’t be happier to just cuddle with his favourite boys watching Shrek 3.

It was 8pm before they knew it and had to put the boys to bed. Alec tucked Max in and kissed him on the forehead.

“Daddy, Seb and you aren’t married anymore, are you?” Max asked.

“No darling. It’s called a divorce. You need it before you can break up.” He said, placing a kiss on Max’s forehead.

“Have you and Seb got dimoorsed yet?” Max asked, and Alec grinned at the mispronunciation before stroking his hair out of his sons eyes.

“Not yet, but I promise I will never be with him again. He is out of our lives forever.” Alec reassured him.

“Is Maggy going to be my new papa?” Max asked, innocently. Alec briefly wondered where the term papa had come from, then he remembered that what Rafael called his father. Maybe Max just thought that was his name.

“I hope so. He’s so nice and kind. He’s better than Seb.” Alec said, before kissing Max on the forehead again. “Good night little one.”

 

Alec got into Magnus’ bed without even thinking about it. He smiled when Magnus came back from tucking Rafael in and Magnus smiled in return. He got ready for bed by taking his clothes off and sliding in next to Alec. He gave him a peck on the lips before pulling up the blankets and laying to face him.

“Alexander, can we talk about something? Don’t get nervous, don’t lie and don’t worry about your answer. Whatever you say, I won’t get mad, or upset. I promise.” Magnus said, trying to hint for Alec to say the same. When he replied with ‘I promise too’, Magnus continued. “Do you like me as more than a friend? I mean in a relationship way.”

“Yes.” Alec replied instantly. Magnus was proud that he didn’t stutter or flinch. Progress.

“Do you think it is too early for a relationship so soon after Sebastian?” He asked. He would never want Alec to feel like he had to be with him just so he had somewhere to stay.

“No. I feel comfortable around you and Max likes you, which is a huge part of it.” Alec replied without looking away from Magnus.

“Would you like to be my boyfriend?”

“Yes, I’d love to.” Alec said smirking before leaning into kiss him. The kiss caught fire and somehow, within the space of a few minutes, Magnus was straddling Alec’s lap and his fingers were woven in his hair. Magnus pulled back before it went too far, to see Alec’s pupils dilated more than he thought was possible and he was panting like a dog wanting water on a hot summer day.

“I think we should wait, so you’re ready. Our first time should be special.” Magnus said, Alec instantly agreeing with him. _Thank god. Imagine if he had continued. Alec would probably think he had to sleep with him and would’ve gone through it, even if he didn’t want it._

Magnus got off his lap and laid down. He put his head on Alec’s chest and yawned. Alec wrapped his arms around him and kissed his head gently. They muttered a ‘good night babe’ before falling asleep, content in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those were a few of my favourite songs. they are very old and have meaning in this story, it wasn't just a filler chapter. sorry if you never heard of them, but they are great songs!!! comment and let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost at the end. sad this story is ending. let me know what you think!

Alec was too tired to open his eyes. Too content and couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Without opening his eyes, he rolled over to Magnus’ side of the bed, but found cold sheets. He opened his eyes instantly and sat up, wondering what he had done wrong. Why was he alone? Had Magnus had enough of him already? Was he that irritating and clingy?

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Magnus, Max and Rafael walking through the bedroom door carefully. Magnus had a tray in his hands with a lot of food on there. They all looked happy and had a sense of pride about them.

“Morning daddy! We’re going to have breakfast in bed!” Max said, excited. Well, that’s how it seemed. Not many people knew really how close Max and Alec were. Max knew Alec would be worried when he woke up alone, so he was quick to reassure. Like when Alec was quick to reassure Max about Sebastian being gone. No one knew them better than each other. Max shouldn’t be taking care of Alec, he was a grown man.

“Morning buddy. Hey Rafael. And a good morning to you as well Magnus.” Alec said amused when he saw the fake pout on Magnus’ face from not being greeted.

Max and Rafael jumped on the bed and sat with their legs crossed at the foot of the bed. Magnus put the tray in the middle of the bed and climbed in next to Alec. He leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and whispered, “Good morning baby.”

Their breakfast feast consisted of: bacon, eggs, hash browns, toast, sausages, beans, mushrooms and a couple of sliced up tomatoes. Alec locked eyes with Max who jumped forward and grabbed all the mushrooms before eating them all without asking. Magnus chuckled at the eager young boy and they all dug in. He found it a little odd, but he wasn’t going to question a hungry boy.

Alec was worried Magnus would question him on what happened, but he didn’t. He barely raised an eyebrow at him. Thank god. Alec and Max had a little system going for when they ate breakfast that someone else cooked. They didn’t ever want to be rude, because it isn’t nice. So, if there was something on the plate Alec didn’t like, Max would eat it before someone could offer it to Alec. Alec did the same for Max. They didn’t like to say no to people who had been kind enough to do things for them, such as make breakfast.

When they had all finished, the plate was shinning at how clean it was. Ok, it wasn’t. It had baked beans sauce on it along with dollops of ketchup, but no remaining food. They all wiped their mouths and chins, before took the tray away, the boys following him suit.

When they came back in, Magnus had a rose in his hand and a drink for Alec. He gave them both to Alec and kissed him on the cheek, before climbing into the bed with him. The boys took their place at the end of the bed with their hands behind their backs, presumably hiding something.

“What’s all this for?” Alec asked, smiling at Magnus.

“I don’t need a reason to make breakfast for my boyfriend.” Magnus said, acting like it was nothing. In reality, it wasn’t. But Alec wasn’t used to any of this, at all. He didn’t know how to react. He surged forward and captured Magnus’ lips, instantly his tongue darting out to deepen the kiss. Magnus let him in with pleasure and put his arms around his neck. They pulled back when the need for oxygen was nagging at their minds. They looked back at the boys who were smiling at them.

“Thank you Magnus.” Alec said, pecking him on the cheek quickly before placing the delicate rose down on the bedside table. He made a mental note to put it water later.

Rafael put his arms in front of him and held out a box for Alec. When Alec opened the box, it was a photo frame that didn’t have a photo in it, but it had words written on it. It said: _it’s not my fault you don’t get drunk enough to appreciate my singing._ Alec read it and burst out laughing with the most beautiful sound in the whole world. Magnus declared internally that he wanted to hear that beautiful sound ever day of his life until the day he dies.

Max handed Alec a box, but it was a little bit bigger. When he opened it and saw another photo frame, his eyes teared at the sight. It was a collage of pictures of him and Max, from their years of adventures. There was one of them in Disney Land, one of them on a beach with their sunglasses on the end of their noses, looking at the camera with silly faces and another one of Max’s birthday, surrounded by wrapping paper. You could barely see him in the photo. Alec had never been so thankful that he always got Sebastian to take the pictures, he was thankful he wasn’t in any of them. They were rare moments when Sebastian would let them have fun and he sure as hell was going to take a picture every damn time. He wanted to remind himself of what it was that he was fighting for.

“Happy birthday daddy!” Max yelled, before jumping forward and hugging him tightly.

“Oh yeah. Only two months until yours then.” Alec said, kissing his son tenderly on the head.

“Wait, did you forget it was your birthday? How?” Rafael asked innocently.

“Because I didn’t celebrate my birthday when I was with Sebastian.” Alec said, looking down. Magnus noticed it, it was hard to miss. He couldn’t believe that Alec didn’t celebrate his birthday. That’s the one day everything was about you.

“Alright boys put the boxes in the trash and then you can go and play!” Magnus said, handing them the boxes. When the boys left, Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec and kissed him lightly on the head. He could feel Alec hug him tighter than he was hugging Alec and it broke him. Was Alec scared Magnus would leave? That thought was enough to make Magnus want to cry. “Happy birthday beautiful.”

“Thanks.” Alec said, pulling back and wiping away his tears. Magnus looked at him concerned but Alec just smiled at him. “They’re happy tears. I’m just a little overwhelmed by how kind you’ve been. Thank you.” Alec said, before slowly leaning in to kiss Magnus. He was sure to be slow, so Magnus could pull back if he wanted to. When they pulled back, they hugged again. They heard the boys running in from the living room. They looked at the doorway to see Max with a phone in his hand. They both had devilish smiles. “Oh no. What did you do?” Alec asked playfully.

“Daddy, do you know what you are?” Max asked, finger hovering over a button on the phone. He was ready to play something. Alec rolled his eyes fondly at his boy.

“I’m not a womble Max.” Alec said amused, before Max turned the song on and started singing horrifically to it. Alec pulled Magnus back against him, so Alec’s chest was spread out against his back. Rafael joined in on the chorus after he got a hang of the words and Alec and Magnus just sat there and chuckled to themselves.

When the song finally ended, Alec and Magnus gave overexaggerated cheering to them. “Whooooo!!! Best concert ever!! Encore!!” Magnus yelled, not moving much so he didn’t dislodge himself from Alec.

Max and Rafael bowed and ran off again. Magnus and Alec were left gasping for breath out of laughter before they both sat up and looked at each other. “You and Max are very fond of singing. Why?” Magnus asked when they had both calmed down.

“Me and my father used to sing in the car on the way to school in the mornings. Izzy, Max and Jace would all go with my mother to another school whilst I was going to this fancy private one. They put so much pressure on me constantly and the only time I could be myself was when I was butchering songs in the car with my dad. When I came out, he disowned me. I sing with Max, so he knows it’s ok to be different and he doesn’t have to be stuck up and serious all the time. Every time Sebastian left, we would turn the stereo full blast and scream the songs out.” Alec said, smiling fondly at the memories.

“Such old music.” Magnus said amused, trying to lighten the conversation so Alec didn’t get too upset about it.

“I know, but he loves them. You should’ve seen him last month. Sebastian was away for the weekend. He came screaming into my room, shouting ‘Ballroom Blitz’ at the top of his lungs. Claiming he heard it on some movie trailer at school.” Alec said chuckling. Magnus chuckled along with him, hoping to keep the smile on his face a little longer.

“You’re safe here. I promise, I won’t let anything happen to you. Either of you.” Magnus said, stroking Alec’s cheek.

“Thank you for being… you. It feels so right being with you. I… um I… I think…” Alec tried shyly.

“Alexander, you can tell me anything. What is it?” Magnus asked tentatively. He didn’t want to pressure him into saying whatever it was.

“I think I’m ready.” He said quickly, not looking up at Magnus. Magnus didn’t understand what he meant.

“Ready for what baby?”

“For… you know..” Alec said, gesturing between him and Magnus, he gaze fixed on Magnus’ crotch through his trousers.

“Are you talking about sex, sweetheart?” Magnus asked carefully. He really hoped he didn’t misread the signs. When Alec nodded, he hugged him and gave him a peck on the lips. “Whenever you think the time is right, tell me. I’m so proud of you for telling me.” Magnus said, causing Alec to smile a wide grin. “It’s a nice day. Want to go for a walk?” Magnus asked, kissing Alec on the cheek. Alec nodded shyly and climbed out of the bed.

 

The walk was so peaceful. The boys got along so well, Alec believed that maybe, just maybe, they could be a family. They walked around some part place and got ice cream. The boys spent most of the time running around, chasing birds. Magnus, being the adorable person, he is, put ice cream on Alec’s lips and then muttered “Here, let me get it.” And then kissed Alec, in public. **_In public! He wanted to be seen in public! He wasn’t ashamed of Alec!!_**

They walked into some shops, got food and things for dinner. They bought so much popcorn, it was crazy. Magnus declared on someone’s birthday, you get the blankets from your bed, cuddle on the sofa and watch films until you fall asleep covered in popcorn. Alec just chuckled and went along with whatever it was that Magnus wanted.

On the way back to the house, Alec felt finally a peace. Magnus grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers. “You had a good birthday so far?” Magnus asked, his thumb absentmindedly stroking patterns on his hand.

“Yes, it’s been so great. Thank you so much.” Alec said, looking down briefly before continuing. “Do you know what would _top_ this day off and make it better.” Alec said, trying to give Magnus the hint by wiggling his eyebrows.

Magnus just looked at really confused. “Are you alright Alexander?”

Alec let out an annoyed huff and stopped walking, making Magnus stay behind with him. He put his head as close to his ear as it could go. “I want to have sex!” He said, before leaning back and looking at the floor.

“Well, why didn’t you just say so.” Magnus said teasingly, before dragging Alec forward a little bit more.

 

When they reached the house, Magnus pouted as he realised that the flower pots were crooked. Alec saw the look on Magnus face and hated it instantly. “I’ll stay out here and do them. You go in and prepare the movies and shit.” Alec said to Magnus. Magnus smiled widely and kissed him on the cheek before ushering the children in the house.

Alec bent down to shuffle around the plant pots, a horrid memory making its way into his mind.

_“Maxie, come and hydrate please.” Alec said, with a glass of lemonade for his boy and a plate of salad for himself. Max stopped his playing and ran over to the outdoor table. He took a few big gulps from his drink before Sebastian made his way out._

_“Max! Were you just playing in the garden?!” Sebastian yelled. Alec stiffened, a forkful of Lettice on it’s way in his mouth. “Eat Alec!” Sebastian yelled, shoving the fork into his mouth._

_“Yes Sebby, I was.” Max said, bowing his head._

_“You’ve wrecked the pots at the back, haven’t you?!” Sebastian said, putting on hand on the table to steady himself as he raised a hand to hit Max. Alec jumped into action and stabbed him in the hand with his fork. Like full on. He let go of the fork and it was sticking out of his hand._

_“Don’t. You. Dare. Raise. Your. Hand. To. Him. Again. You hear?” Alec said in a calm, intimidating voice. That was the first and the last time Sebastian attempted to hit Max_

Almost as if on que, when Alec finished arranging the pots, he turned his head slightly to see Sebastian stood there with a smirk on his face and a black eye.

“Well, hello there Alec.”

 

Magnus was putting the shopping away whilst the boys were in Rafael’s room, picking out some movies for them all to watch. Since it was only just after midday, there was going to be a lot of films to watch. Magnus was knocked out of his thoughts by hearing noises outside. He slowly walked to the front door, confused. When he got closer, he heard distinct voices that made his blood boil.

 _“I’m sorry. Please, don’t hit me again!”_ He heard before he heard the distinct sound of skin to skin contact. He opened the cupboard under the door and got his handgun out. Alec rushed through the front door, heaving. “Magnus! Mag-” Was all he could manage before throwing up from all the anxiety. Magnus opened the door and pointed his gun at Sebastian.

“Get the fuck off my doorstep. Now.” He said, before shooting the ground by his feet. He quickly sped off, not looking back.

Magnus looked back at Alec and took him into his arms. “I promised you would be safe. See, you’re safe.” He reassured him, gently rocking them back and forth. He led him to the couch and cuddled him on there, waiting for the boys to come into the living room. They came in with the DVD’s on their blanket that they were dragging on the floor. Max let go instantly and ran over to his daddy.

“Daddy! What happened?” He asked, gently touching the bruise on Alec’s face from when Sebastian punched him. max quickly ran away to the freezer and got out a bag of peas. He ran back and put them on Alec’s face gently, whilst stroking his other cheek. Magnus watched in amazement and anger. Max shouldn’t know how to do this. Did he have to do this every time? “That better daddy?”

“Yes bud, thank you.” He said, before embracing his son and pulling him onto the couch. They all got snuggled, ready to watch something called ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’. Magnus had said it was a tiny bit adult, but Alec assured him that Max would be fine. Rafael was one side of Magnus, cuddled up to his papa. Alec was the other side of Magnus, with Magnus’ arm draped around him, his head snuggled into Magnus’ chest. Max was next to Alec, with Alec’s arm awkwardly around Max too, who was more than happy to just sit there and eat his popcorn. About half way through the film, Alec realised that he finally got his dream. His dream on the first night he spent here, his dream of a family.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry if you think this is a rushed ending. I didn't know what else to do. i'm sad its ended, but at least it's happy.

_Alec pulled Magnus onto the bed and kissed him with so much passion, Magnus almost felt overwhelmed._

_“Top or bottom?” Magnus asked. Alec looked down and blushed._

_“Bottom, please.” Alec asked before kissing him again. He slowly undid Magnus’ top and threw it on the floor somewhere. Magnus did the same with Alec’s top, before kissing down his chest and worshipping his body, just as he deserved. Alec’s trousers became uncomfortably tight as Magnus made his way to the opening. He stopped and looked up at Alec, silently asking permission. Alec nodded and appreciated that the tight trousers were off his body, at last. Magnus rid himself of his own before climbing back on top of Alec._

_Magnus reached to his drawer and got out the lube and a condom. “Did Sebastian ever prepare you?” Magnus asked. He didn’t want to go ahead with it without warning Alec what it will feel like. It can be overwhelming the first time._

_“No.” Alec said, blushing again._

_“I’m going to open you up, so my dick doesn’t hurt too much, ok? You still want to do this?” Magnus asked carefully._

_“Fuck yeah!” Alec said enthusiastically before opening the lube for him. Magnus just chuckled before slicking up his fingers with a lot of lube and pulling down Alec’s underwear. He circled his entrance before entering._

_“Oh! Oh.. Wow, that’s…” Alec stuttered between pants._

_Magnus stopped his movements instantly and kissed his cheek. “Do you want to stop?” Magnus asked._

_“No no no..” Alec chanted, shaking his head. It felt so good. He never knew a single finger could feel this good. He wondered what Magnus’ cock would feel like and make himself even harder. “More… please, it’s so….good…” Alec panted, wrapping his arms around Magnus’ neck._

_Magnus put another finger in him and started to move them, opening him up. He added another, just for good measure before removing them and slicking up his cock. “You sure?” Magnus asked. Alec nodded and dug his heels into Magnus’ back, to urge him to go on. Magnus entered him and waited for Alec to adjust before moving at a gentle and slow pace._

_After a while, he began to feel the feeling of an orgasm approach. “Mags, I’m…”_

_“Me too. Let go baby.” With that, they came together. Alec’s cum shot up between his and Magnus’ chest. They were both panting messes._

_“Magnus give me the teddy bear!” Alec said, careful to avoid running into other people whilst chasing his boyfriend through the carnival._

_“No! It’s mine!” Magnus yelled before hiding behind a stall. Alec caught him and kissed him passionately before taking the teddy bear off him._

_“I love you and everything, but he’s mine! I won him!” Alec said, smoothing out his fur before realising what he said. “Magnus…”_

_“I love you too baby.” Magnus said, before jumping into Alec’s arms, the teddy long forgotten._

_Magnus walked into his bedroom to see rose petals everywhere and Alec stood there, candles flickering in the background. “Hey there.”_

_“Alexander, what’s all this?” Magnus asked, taking a step closer to Alec. Alec held his hand out, stopped him and got down on one knee._

_“Magnus Bane. I love you so damn much. You dragged me out of the darkest place in my life and I will forever be thankful that you are in my life. So, will you, pretty please, pick your jaw up off the floor and be my husband?” Alec said whilst chuckling. Magnus loved that sound. He ran forward and knocked Alec off balance._

_He kissed Alec a thousand times before saying, “Are you insane?! Of course, I will. Like you had to ask.” Magnus said._

_Alec chuckled and said, “What was I supposed to do babe? Send you an invite to our wedding without you even knowing about it?”_

_“Well duh.” Magnus said, rolling his eyes sarcastically before kissing Alec again._

_“You may say your vows now.”_

_They turned to face each other and smiled._

_“Magnus Bane, you are a literal angel. Well, I say that. But you can be one hell of a grumpy bitch in the morning. I love you with all my heart and always will. I’ve never been happier to be afraid of thunder in my whole life.” Alec said, winking at Magnus. Only they would know what it meant._

_“Alexander Lightwood. I’m slightly offended by the morning comment, but I’ll let you off. I love you so much. You’ve been such a rock for me and Rafael. Speaking of, he has a wedding present for you.” Magnus said before turning to Rafael, who was now 10 years old. He walked up the isle with a piece of paper in his hand and gave it to Alec. “Read it out loud for our families to hear darling.” Magnus said, wiping his own tear._

_“Official document.” He said, confused at Magnus._

_“It helps if you open the paper babe.” Magnus said, causing everyone in the ceremony to laugh._

_“Adoption papers of Rafael Bane.” Alec choked on his breath and pulled Rafael into a tight hug, crying already._

_“What is it Alec?” Izzy asked since Alec whispered it to himself, instead of saying it out loud to everybody._

_“Rafael wants me to adopt him.” Alec shouted, wiping another tear before looking down at Rafael. “I’d love to! I love you bud.” He said, hearing a faint ‘I love you too’ from him. It was muffled by his tears as well as Alec’s tight grip._

10 years with Magnus. 10 years. It was their 10 year anniversary and Alec couldn’t be happier. He had the most sassy, beautiful husband in the whole world. And he knew exactly what to do, but it required the help of their moody 15 year old teenage sons. Ok, that was a lie. Their boys weren’t moody. They were strangely not hormonal at all, it was weird.

Magnus walked into his house after a stressful say to see Alec stood in the living room, with Rafael and Max on either side. “Oh no. please tell me this isn’t going where I think it’s going.” Magnus said chuckling.

“Sit down baby.” Alec said, before turning around and turning on the radio.

 _“Ok that was All Rise by Blue, requested by Sarah. Now we have a request from Alec, for his 10 year anniversary of meeting his husband. Here you go Alec, Live Your Life by MIKA.”_ The guy on the radio said, before playing the song.

“Enjoy the free concert Magnus.” Alec said chuckling.

 _You've got the whole world in your pocket, but you just don't know_  
Everybody's smiling at you everywhere you go  
It's like you've got that secret  
That everybody else wants to know  
Anywhere you are is just like home to you  
From the beaches in Manila, down to Katmandu  
Yeah you've got that secret  
That everybody else wants to know  
But you won't ever let it go oh

Alec, Max and Rafael all did a crazy dance during the chorus, after singing the verse. They were jumping around the room, picking up couch cushions and throwing them around, doing old dance moves and new ones, making Magnus almost choke on laughter.

_You take a whole room full of strangers and you make them friends_

_We do it all around the world just so it enver ends_

 

“It don’t matter where we’re coming from or going to. You’re the only one that ever make a grey sky blue. And everybody needs a friend like you” Alec sang, getting closer to Magnus and kissing him after he finished. They began to start dancing like lunatics for the rest of the song. When they finished, they ended in a super hero stance and waited for Magnus to catch his breath from the laughing.

“Every word is true papa.” Max said, giving him a hug and going to his room.

“Thanks Maxie, thank you Rafael. You were great.”

“As long as no one hears about it, I’m good.” He said before going to his room too.

Alec walked over to Magnus on the couch and sat on his lap. “Did you enjoy the present?” Alec said chuckling.

“That was just brilliant. I love it. Reckon you could give me another dance.” Magnus asked seductively.

“Oh really?” Alec asked, quirking an eyebrow. “What song?”

“Pony by Genuwine.” Magnus suggested flirtatiously.

“It would be my pleasure baby. I love you.” Alec said, giving him a kiss.

“I love you too, but I think you’ll find it would be _my_ pleasure.” Magnus said, embracing his husband. He had no regrets in life. Because everything he did led him to this moment with his husband. The kindest, most innocent (kind of), beautiful, sweetest, romantic and sexy person in the whole world. The only thing he regretted was not stopping Sebastian sooner, so he could have more time with his darling Alexander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think!
> 
> considering doing like a one shot book kinda thing with moments from their life together. family holidays, and so on. let me know what you think of the idea?


End file.
